Japan has plenty of terrifying creatures of myth and legend. Some have even survived the centuries and were reborn as new symbols of fear and terror for the modern age. This article is about their opposites: Japanese “monsters” that go bump in the proverbial night and leave it at that, being satisfied with merely giving us humans the occasional fright. But there is no reason to fear them because these silly supernatural specters would never hurt a fly. So, keep that in mind, as well as your cool, if you ever run into any of them.
1. Shirime: The “Moon Faced” Prankster
The Shirime is a subclass, distant cousin, or evolutionary offshoot of the humanoid Nopperabo spirit that for centuries has been terrifying Japanese people by surprising them with its featureless, blank face. Shirime is similarly a potential poker prodigy, but supernatural nature has equipped it with another way of perceiving the world: an eye in the middle of its butt where the anus should be. It, therefore, has a name which literally translates to “butt eye.”
Actually, it’s not totally clear if the eye is functional, but what we do know is that it’s bright, apparently emitting a light as strong as a modern flashlight. Fortunately, Shirime seems to be only interested in pranking people by jumping out and giving them the worst stink eye ever. But it’s admittedly hard not to be terrified because, even before it winks at you from the worst possible angle, it looks like a regular human running around naked or suddenly undressing in front of you. That’s two scares for the price of one.
2. Mamedanuki: The Shapeshifter with a Lot of Balls
The “bean tanuki” is a very specialized version of older myths about magical racoon dogs known for being shapeshifting pranksters. The mamedanuki is that as well, except that it’s also very committed to its brand. Unfortunately, its brand is balls. The reason why tanuki are often depicted in Japanese art with massive scrotums is a little complex, unlike the Mamedanuki, which lives by the simple rule of “I have a magic sack, so I’m going to use it.”
So, when the Mamedanuki wants to, say, shapeshift into a person, it doesn’t snap its animal fingers and suddenly transform into a puff of smoke but rather stretches out its scrotum, covers itself with it, and magically shapes its visage into that of a human. The most famous story of the Mamedanuki involves a 17th century poet named Rozan who met a stranger on a trip and was invited to spend the night at their house. When he accidentally dropped tobacco ash on the floor, the floor and the walls suddenly squeaked and disappeared. It turned out that the nice stranger was the Mamedanuki and his “house” was actually his meticulously sculpted rubbery nut-sack. While he wasn’t physically hurt, we may assume Rozan never felt clean again for the rest of his life.
3. Iyaya: A Lesson About Not Picking Up Strange Women
A lot of women living in Japan eventually have to deal with nanpa, the unsolicited plea for a date from total strangers on the street. This has apparently been a problem for a long while, given the existence of the legend of Iyaya, whose name comes from the Japanese exclamation of disgust and reluctance, roughly translating to “No, no” or “I don’t want it.” Only with Iyaya, the screams are coming from the men.
Legend goes that Iyaya looks like a beautiful woman in a fine, elegant kimono… from the back. But when you approach her at night, she turns around to reveal a wrinkled, ugly face like an old prune on the bottom of a shoe. After the man runs away screaming, the spirit has a little giggle and moves along to find her next victim. This may sound a little mean-spirited (literally and figuratively), but in most Japanese mythology, the specter world apparently operates on Opposite Day rules. So, Iyaya is most likely considered a great beauty among her monster peers and her self-esteem must be through the roof.
4. Karakasa Kozo: The Ghost Umbrellas That Make You Wet
There’s a strand of belief in traditional Japanese culture that, given enough time, inanimate objects can obtain their own personality or even a soul. Such is the case with the Karakasa Kozo, a paper umbrella that came to life after years of use or neglect, depending on the legend. Often depicted as hopping around on two legs and having one eye, this spirit is also identifiable by one more appendage: its extremely long tongue.
Perhaps because umbrellas spend years protecting us from the rain, Karakasa Kozo’s main objective in life is to flip things around and make people wet… by creeping up on them and licking them. The lick doesn’t paralyze or have any paranormal effects on people, besides making them super uncomfortable and unable to look the umbrella spirit in the eye the next day. Thankfully, this eye isn’t between the spirit’s buttcheeks.
5. Yanari: The Worst Roommates Ever
Japanese oni (devils, demons, ogres) aren’t always as terrifying as the English translations of their names imply. In some parts of Japan, they are revered as gods. In others, though, they are hated for running around your house at night making noises for the sole purpose of not letting you get any sleep. Yanari is the name given to these oni and they don’t even feed on your unspent dream energy or anything complicated like that. They’re just little bastards. Semi-literally. Their parentage is unknown, but they are little; about the size of a mouse.
This myth most likely came about to explain the various noises of newly or cheaply built wooden houses that do emit a certain amount of noise as the buildings settle. Choosing instead to believe in a society of nocturnal tiny monsters hiding inside your house, the people of Japan crafted stories of these oni who, to their credit, are usually depicted as very diligent and hardworking in their quest to rob you of your sleep. Because in Japan, it really doesn’t matter what you do. What matters is that you do it right.
